Thursday, October 27, 2011

Changes

Wow. How time flies. It has been commented upon a few times recently that I have neglected to write in my blog.... Again. The trouble is, I've been feeling rather uninspired in life generally, and when I'm feeling uninspired I have difficulty summoning up the motivation to write. When I'm busy and have lots going on, I have lots I want to say. If I'd written anything in the last few weeks, it would have been simply boring. Trust me, even I'm bored with myself. Actually no, not bored, just settled. Or at least I was.

Last Friday, my life reached a point that I knew it would eventually. It was however, somewhat earlier than expected. And no, I'm not pregnant. But in the last year or so, I've become very comfortable in my nice little life in the country. I got married, I've made friends in town, and every day I wake up next to my husband and don't think too much about changing anything. Frankly, given the last few years of quite some turmoil, I'm just happy we made it this far. Now though, Andy is going to be working in Melbourne. Box Hill to be precise. Still working for the same organisation, but in a great new role. A role that will give him great experience, and where he gets to focus on something he's passionate about. I'm absolutely thrilled to bits for him.

Trouble is, it's in Melbourne. I'm not. The other trouble is, at this stage, it's only likely to be for 6 months. This makes things a little difficult for me. Do I apply for jobs in Melbourne, and risk that in 6 months time he'll be back here because his job finishes? Or do I wait, and we spend 6 of the first 10 months of our married life living separately? To be honest, I'm ready for something different, work-wise. It's just a matter of the right position coming up. It's also a matter of making some decisions. Honestly, I feel like if I don't go to Melbourne, then we've ended up in the exact same position that I moved to Alex to avoid - us living in different places. If I do move to Melbourne, and then at the end of April he's back in Alex, well there we are again.

I feel like I have lost control of my cosy life. It's not that the things that are happening are bad, it's just that they're somewhat out of my control. I don't do well with "just wait and see". I certainly don't do well with "it'll all work out in the long run". Really not well at all.