I put my dreams in boxes so I can hide them from the world.
Sometimes though, I forget where I put the boxes.
I search for a while, trying to remember where they could be and how I could find them but eventually, I stop looking.
After a while, when I've put new dreams into new boxes, I've forgotten about the first set of boxes.
I can't tell anyone about the dreams in the boxes; I can't ask if anybody else remembers where I put them, because the whole point of the boxes was to hide the dreams from them.
This madness goes on, with most boxes going entirely un-remembered.
Occasionally though, I stumble across one of these boxes as I go about my daily business.
Sometimes they make me smile. Sometimes they make me cry, because now they're not dreams in boxes: now they are just memories of dreams and of things that could have been.
I don't think I have regrets, but every now and then I think I shouldn't box those dreams up right away, perhaps I shouldn't hide them, especially if I'm going to be careless and lose them.
But I just keep right on boxing.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Workaholism
OK... you haven't seen or heard from me in a while... mainly I've been uninspired, but I've also been very, very busy. This afternoon I decided to slack off just a little, and read some newspaper online. I stumbled across this blog on The Age website.
It asks some questions, the answers to which supposedly help you to determine whether or not you're a workaholic. There are 20 questions. Apparently if you answer yes to more than three of them you MAY be a workaholic.
Count my answers and weep for me- I don't have time to, I've got to get back to work.
1. Do you get more excited about your work than about family or anything else?
MOSTLY
2. Are there times when you can charge through your work and other times when you can't?
YES
3. Do you take work with you to bed? On weekends? On vacation?
YES, YES, YES
4. Is work the activity you like to do best and talk about most?
MOSTLY
5. Do you work more than 40 hours a week?
YES
6. Do you turn your hobbies into money-making ventures?
NO
7. Do you take complete responsibility for the outcome of your work efforts?
YES
8. Have your family or friends given up expecting you on time?
YES
9. Do you take on extra work because you are concerned that it won't otherwise get done?
YES
10. Do you underestimate how long a project will take and then rush to complete it?
NO, i usually just leave it until the last minute and THEN rush to complete it.
11. Do you believe that it is okay to work long hours if you love what you are doing?
YES
12. Do you get impatient with people who have other priorities besides work?
I guess so... I get frustrated with people who don't make work a priority, especially if it means things don't get done.
13. Are you afraid that if you don't work hard you will lose your job or be a failure?
Lose my job no, Failure YES
14. Is the future a constant worry for you even when things are going very well?
NO
15. Do you do things energetically and competitively including play?
YES
16. Do you get irritated when people ask you to stop doing your work in order to do something else?
YES
17. Have your long hours hurt your family or other relationships?
It has likely made them non-existent, so I guess YES that's hurting them.
18. Do you think about your work while driving, falling asleep or when others are talking?
YES
19. Do you work or read during meals?
YES
20. Do you believe that more money will solve the other problems in your life?
What other problems? I have none!
It asks some questions, the answers to which supposedly help you to determine whether or not you're a workaholic. There are 20 questions. Apparently if you answer yes to more than three of them you MAY be a workaholic.
Count my answers and weep for me- I don't have time to, I've got to get back to work.
1. Do you get more excited about your work than about family or anything else?
MOSTLY
2. Are there times when you can charge through your work and other times when you can't?
YES
3. Do you take work with you to bed? On weekends? On vacation?
YES, YES, YES
4. Is work the activity you like to do best and talk about most?
MOSTLY
5. Do you work more than 40 hours a week?
YES
6. Do you turn your hobbies into money-making ventures?
NO
7. Do you take complete responsibility for the outcome of your work efforts?
YES
8. Have your family or friends given up expecting you on time?
YES
9. Do you take on extra work because you are concerned that it won't otherwise get done?
YES
10. Do you underestimate how long a project will take and then rush to complete it?
NO, i usually just leave it until the last minute and THEN rush to complete it.
11. Do you believe that it is okay to work long hours if you love what you are doing?
YES
12. Do you get impatient with people who have other priorities besides work?
I guess so... I get frustrated with people who don't make work a priority, especially if it means things don't get done.
13. Are you afraid that if you don't work hard you will lose your job or be a failure?
Lose my job no, Failure YES
14. Is the future a constant worry for you even when things are going very well?
NO
15. Do you do things energetically and competitively including play?
YES
16. Do you get irritated when people ask you to stop doing your work in order to do something else?
YES
17. Have your long hours hurt your family or other relationships?
It has likely made them non-existent, so I guess YES that's hurting them.
18. Do you think about your work while driving, falling asleep or when others are talking?
YES
19. Do you work or read during meals?
YES
20. Do you believe that more money will solve the other problems in your life?
What other problems? I have none!
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
cleanliness is next to...
I HATE BATHROOMS.
Yes, that's right, you read correctly: I hate bathrooms. In particular, I hate MY bathroom. GODDAMNIT, every time I turn around, the thing needs cleaning. EVERY TIME. Fairly obviously, this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that last time I turned around I didn't clean it, but that's NOT THE POINT.
Neither my dear brother nor I are the neatest of creatures, and more often than not both of our bedrooms look somewhat like the Middle East in the 90s. However, despite being untidy, our rooms are quite CLEAN.
The bathroom is not.
I don't know how, I really don't, but that place is just a magnet for dust and hair. I have now reached the point that I can't even quite bring myself to clean it, because I know that within 5 minutes of making it sparkle, hurricane Jason will hit again and all of my hard work will be for nought. The most frustrating thing is that HE makes the mess (obviously I am clean and pure and therefore leave no dirt), but HE doesn't know how to clean. LITERALLY PEOPLE - the boy is nearly 24 years old and he thinks that I can't tell whether he's cleaned the shower or not. He HONESTLY believes that you can't see it. I've given up even nagging him to HELP me clean it any more, because I know I'll just have to do it all over again.
Really what it all comes down to is that to keep the bathroom clean, you have to actually consistently clean it, and as anybody who knows me knows, I HATE cleaning, and I am anything but consistent. It's just easier to hate the bathroom.
MUMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY PLEASE BRING BACK THE CLEANER!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Yes, that's right, you read correctly: I hate bathrooms. In particular, I hate MY bathroom. GODDAMNIT, every time I turn around, the thing needs cleaning. EVERY TIME. Fairly obviously, this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that last time I turned around I didn't clean it, but that's NOT THE POINT.
Neither my dear brother nor I are the neatest of creatures, and more often than not both of our bedrooms look somewhat like the Middle East in the 90s. However, despite being untidy, our rooms are quite CLEAN.
The bathroom is not.
I don't know how, I really don't, but that place is just a magnet for dust and hair. I have now reached the point that I can't even quite bring myself to clean it, because I know that within 5 minutes of making it sparkle, hurricane Jason will hit again and all of my hard work will be for nought. The most frustrating thing is that HE makes the mess (obviously I am clean and pure and therefore leave no dirt), but HE doesn't know how to clean. LITERALLY PEOPLE - the boy is nearly 24 years old and he thinks that I can't tell whether he's cleaned the shower or not. He HONESTLY believes that you can't see it. I've given up even nagging him to HELP me clean it any more, because I know I'll just have to do it all over again.
Really what it all comes down to is that to keep the bathroom clean, you have to actually consistently clean it, and as anybody who knows me knows, I HATE cleaning, and I am anything but consistent. It's just easier to hate the bathroom.
MUMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY PLEASE BRING BACK THE CLEANER!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
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