All over

Yes, apparently the recent rumours are true. My most favourite-ist Hollywood couple EVAH is over.

I am quite distraught over this... I remember when Cruel Intentions (one of my favourite movies of all time) came out, i definitely had a teenage girl crush on Ryan Philippe. I think Reese Witherspoon is a brilliant actress. One who, despite being gorgeous, can actually do a whole lot more than rely on her looks to get her through a movie. Together, they are a picture perfect couple with a picture perfect family. She takes her kids to church on sunday morning. And I'm not talking this new-age-lets-jump-on-the-celebrity-trendy-kabbalah-and-scientology-religions bandwagon. Good, old-fashioned catholic (actually might be baptist, i'm not up on the details)church. I had really hoped that they, with their two (unsurprisingly beautiful-looking) children and one-parent-looks-after-the-kids-whilst-the-other-does-a-movie policy, would last the distance.

Here was I thinking that perhaps someone in hollywood might make it last... damn i guess they're human after all.

Un-Mondayitis

Hello there,

long-time no cheerful see!

Well, I think I'm back... I say I THINK i'm back, because i'm not really sure if i'm back for good, or going to be back on a regular basis... this is all dependent on many things, but the main one being work... see I'm one of those TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, AWFUL employees who use their employer's time, money and resources to do things for myself... like a write a blog. However, often my employer gets their own back, by swamping me with work, thus making me unable to find spare minutes in which to WRITE said blog. However, I have decided that, seeing as I am currently doing TWO people's jobs (yes, i am worth more money, i will be doing something about the presently), I deserve a little Tammy-Time (which will from here on be referred to as TT) in my day. TT shall take place whenever the hell I feel like it, and nobody can do Nuthin' aboot it.

So, today in my TT, i am going to tell you about how from now on, you must all refer to me as Smartie McNerdNerd. On Friday afternoon i received a rather ominous A4 sized envemolope in the mail. The logo on it said Griffith University. The results of my first tertiary assessment submission in nearly 3 years.

Now, it must be said, I have been rather confused lately, as to exactly WHY I decided to take on this course in the first place... A large part of me suspects that I may have just had a weak moment and somewhat given in to my mother's misplaced desire for all of her children to have letters after their name, or that I was just plain stupid. All of the reading I have done so far for my first subject has suggested that both of these are true. However, if I'm stupid, then the other people doing my course are, (and this is putting it kindly), stupid IDIOTS (who obviously can't write a media report to save their lives). This is because in some way, shape or form, the 2 hours I spent on my case study (supposedly 6 weeks work), was only 5% short of perfect.

That's right, I got 95%. i'm not sure how, and i sure as hell don't know why. Therefore, i'm just going to accept the fact that has obviously been trying to push its way to the forefront of my brain and shout at the world: I AM BRILLIANT.

As you may have guessed, i am just a smidgen pleased with myself. Not so much because this confirms any ideas about my ability or lack thereof, or about the standard of my writing (which I never had anything other than a few moments of doubt about anyway), but because it means this course is not going to be NEARLY as much work as I had thought it was, and that means I can continue to study because I enjoy the subject matter, not merely because I need to pass. This excites me, because I chose this course because I really am interested in learning about (most of) the subject matter. Also, the method by which i am completing this course is brilliant: learning by correspondance suits me... I get to read alot, instead of having to show up at a certain place at a certain time (which anybody who knew me when I was at melbourne uni for a few years knows I am not so good at), it means I don't have to have tutes with honours students who are by NO stretch of the imagination teacher material, and it means I can do 4 weeks work in one day, and nobody will ever know otherwise (consistency is just not one of my strong points). All of these things confirm one major issue I've been pondering lately: that I made the right decision.

I was at the movies on saturday night with a friend, and i had forgotten my student card ($15 for a movie ticket, what a rip off!). Anyway, once i had convinced the lovely lady at the ticket counter that I really WAS in fact a student, i just had a different handbag than usual, my dear friend said to me: "the funny thing is, you actually ARE a student... we never thought that would happen again!" I dont' place much importance on letters after my name, I place much more value on other things like practical experience, and I am doing this course more for interest and exposure to the industry than anything else, but it's nice to know that my friends are happy for me.

All in all people, i'm in a cheerful mood. It's nice to feel happy. Some things have happened in the last few weeks that have put my recent apathy and general misery into perspective: i have friends and family who love me, a job that is getting more challenging by the day, i'm healthy and I can do anything I choose to do.

It's nice to be back.

Nothingness

nothingness.

still.

quiet.

relaxation.

calm.

These are things I long for, and yet seem unable to find.

Tom

One of my dear friends' dads is in a critical but stable condition in the Alfred hospital at the moment....

On sunday he was doing the Ride Around the Bay and was involved in a bike crash, where he flew head first over his handle bars and landed on his head on the concrete. He fractured 5 vertebrae in his back and two in his neck. Due to the trauma to his body of fracturing the two vertebrae in his neck, he suffered a heart attack, and he was without oxygen for a number of minutes. Luckily someone nearby knew CPR and was able to get him breathing again until the ambulance came, at which point he was airlifted to the Alfred Hospital. So far he has been sedated, but yesterday they took him off sedation and are now waiting for him to wake up to see if there is any brain damage from the minutes without oxygen. He has little movement in his legs, and no movement in his arms due to swelling around the spinal chord, but luckily it looks like the spinal chord is not snapped, but the extent of the damage is uncertain.

Accidents like this to a fit, healthy and strong person really put life sharply into perspective don't they?

Juls, my love and thoughts are with your family, and please, if you're reading this and you believe in the power of prayer, pray for Tom. If not, keep your fingers crossed.

Apathy

ap‧a‧thy
–noun, plural -thies.
1.
absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement.
2.
lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.

What I feel right now:

Main Entry:
apathy
Part of Speech:
noun
Definition:
uncaring
Synonyms:
aloofness, coldness, coolness, detachment, disinterest, dispassion, disregard, dullness, emotionlessness, halfheartedness, heedlessness, indifference, insensibility, insensitivity, insouciance, lassitude, lethargy, listlessness, passiveness, passivity, stoicism, unconcern, unresponsiveness

What I would like to feel right now:

Antonyms:
concern, enthusiasm, interest, involvement, passion

Drifting

Lately I feel as though i've been drifting apart from many people. They are people that whom I adore, who I have, at various stages, been the best of friends with. On the flip side of this, i have become much closer with "newer" friends. I know it happens... as we grow up, friendship groups tend to grow apart somewhat... but the thing is, I don't feel that I've grown apart from these people... we've just, through lack of seeing each other, which is mainly through lack of time, which is due to many reasons, drifted apart.

Sometimes I feel like blaming the fact that most of my friends now have girlfriends and boyfriends, so less time to spend with their "old" friends. and to a certain extent I think this is true... their priorities have changed, whereas I am still single, so mine have not. But i can't blame it fully on that... Due to work, uni, sport, or any other of the commitments we all have, they have less time, they make less effort to see me. I have less time, I make less effort to see them, and suddenly I realise that a year later I almost never see or talk to them, and in fact hardly know them any more.

And this is just the people I was close with.... there were people in my "group" of friends that I wasn't close to, that I didn't know very well, but still enjoyed seeing around and talking to at parties etc. Incidental friends. And now, i really never see them at all. I miss seeing them, but how does one go about getting those friendships back...

I love my friends, all of them. Some of them, for whatever reason (usually proximity and having common activities) I see much more often, but it doesn't mean I love any less the ones i don't see as often any more. What i'm afraid of, is that one day, we will just stop being friends, but I'm just kind of at a loss as to how to amend the situation, and so I just keep drifting.

You Give Me Something by James Morrison...

Not the trumpet James Morrison... i was mightily confused by this when i first heard it on the radio...

But I absolutely adore this song... in fact I just downloaded it on itunes. It's a great summer song, it just makes me want to lie back and imagine lying on sunbed in my backyard with the sun on, the speakers going, and relaxing. I haven't heard any of his other stuff, so i'd be quite interested to.

ooh i might go and download some. yippeeeee.

It's too far awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

It's October... we are already 3/4 of the way through the year. How on EARTH did that happen?

Not only that, but my week of no teaching is over. Back to the grind. The THIRD twelve week term IN A ROW. It's revolting. I tell you what, I enjoyed the Commonwealth Games immensely, but I (and every other teacher PLUS all the students in Victoria) have continued paying the price for them for the whole year. One 6 week term and three 12 week terms? Horrible.

I am insanely looking forward to the 19th of December this year. Do you know why?



I'm sure you can guess.



It's nearly Christmas, yes. I love Christmas, but that is not why I am excited.



the 19th of December is my last day of work for TWO WHOLE WEEKS. I am going to have two weeks of NO WORK, NO TEACHING, NO KIDS, NO ANNOYING PHONE CALLS. In this time, I will spend the first few days with my sister (who lives in Singapore but will be home), and we will be doing girly things like having our hair and nails done, making sure we are evenly suntanned and looking stunning, because on the 28th of December, she is getting married. To celebrate this momentous occasion, my entire family will be on holiday in one place for an entire week (also living together in a 3 bedroom apartment, which i am considerably less enthused about!). This will be the first time this has happened in about 10 years, actually possibly even more than that. Needless to say, this is a huge deal for us! We are a close family, and it's not often that we get long enough together to be pulling our hair out by the end, so i am going to cling dearly to every minute (cross words and all).

So, it is only the first week of term, and I am already exhausted from having 3 essays due in this week (the main reason I am currently procrastinating, the last one is due tomorrow and i've barely begun), an enormous week of work last week, a recital exam on Monday, and being back teaching until all hours again, i am fervently wishing away the rest of the year.

Bring on the end of year festivities I say!

happeeee

Today i am filled with happee-ness.

Do you hear me people? I'm not NOT in a bad mood... i'm actually in a GOOD mood!!

It started this morning with waking up after a GOOD night's sleep (enough hours and good quality).

Then continued with a a good hair day (these really are few and far between).

Then I walked outside and it was beautiful SUNSHINE.

Then I got to work and got an email from my sister who lives overseas.

And THEN i got an email from my beautiful Cousin who lives overseas also...

It's school holidays... so when I finish work I've finished teaching for the whole day...

I'm almost up to date with my study...

happee happee joy joy. And so to you.

This man...

...is an idiot.

A Conga Line of Suckholes.....

Um.. What?

http://www.theage.com.au/news/opinion/weaselword-tossbags/2006/09/24/1159036410582.html

Music makes me happee.

Music makes me happy. New Music makes me happier.

Songs I'm in love with that I have downloaded lately:

Scorch, Macromantics
Setting Sun, Howling Bells
Sarah, Eskimo Joe
Original Fire, Audioslave
Miss Murder, AFI
Animals, Nickelback
Science is Golden, the Grates
All Hail the Serpent Queen, Goodnight Nurse
Over My Head , the Fray
The Only Way, Gotye
Sexyback Justin Timberlake
Supermassive Blackhole Muse
Down at the 303 Cat Empire

They're brilliant. Seriously. All of them. They've made this last couple of weeks lovely.

My excitement is quite sad really.

One of the big highlights of living with my parents is cable tv and really fast internet with an (almost) unreachable download limit. I'm not much of a "watch tv at normal primetime" type person. I tend to download series of shows and watch them until 2am 4 nights in a row, thus getting through the whole season in one week. This is a very satisfying way to watch these series (at least, in an instant gratification kind of way). I suspect, however, that a large part of the anticipation is lost when you don't have to wait a week between episodes to find out what's going to happen next.

Currently I am hooning my way through the West Wing. Australian television viewers were, apparently, screwed over on numerous occasions as to the screening of this brilliant series. I, however, never really watched it much. I downloaded seasons 5, 6 & 7, and am almost finished season 7, which also happens to be the end of the series (I think). Last night I experienced the tv moment that, for me, has been about the most anticipated of my entire tv-series-watching life. Seriously, the build up to this moment has been going on for about 4 or 5 seasons. Throughout these last two seasons this moment has been so close you could almost touch it, and yet kept being snatched away: people disappearing for whole episodes at a time, people having fights, people turning away when they should have kept walking, and people almost dying.

So when it finally occurred, i found myself whooping with joy and actually punching the air. Yes, that's right, I was lying in bed and started jumping around with a big grin on my face.

So.... do you want me to tell you what happened?



Do you want me to tell you why I was so excited?




.....




Oh come on. You know you do.





Ok. (beware this contains a spoiler for the last season of the West Wing, so if you haven't seen it and you intend to, stop reading now!).





Donna Moss and Josh Lyman FINALLY got together.



OH MY GOD FINALLY...

Now over the past couple of months that I have been watching the West Wing, I have developed a little crush on Josh Lyman. Don't laugh. Seriously, brains and wit. One of the most powerful political minds in the (fictional) United States with a tendency to be excitable and angry and passionate. What doesn't this guy have going for him? I know he's fictional, but i sincerely wish he wasn't. So, Josh Lyman, a tribute to you.


(I tried to put a photo of the happy couple in here, but it doesn't seem to be working...)

As I think about what i've just written, and how much I've obsessed over Josh and Donna all morning, I've begun to think that I'm actually just a tad sad. Just like I was almost in tears when Logan left for Europe at the end of the most recent Gilmore Girls last season, and when that heart patient Denny died at the end of Grey's anatomy after Izzy tried to make him worse to get him a heart transplant. Is it just me, or does everybody get this involved in the stories they watch? I really do sometimes forget that it's not real. Oh dear. I need to start sleeping at 3am instead of watching tv shows.

And don't even get me started on my most recent obsession with Girls of the Playboy Mansion (also known as The Girls Next Door). Perhaps I'll save that for another day.

Revelations.

Yesterday at Chadstone, I was outside the movies with my brother and one of our friends, and we thought we'd go to a movie. We read this:

"A secret he would not share. An obsession he could not control. A mystery he dare not resolve. A dancer at the peak of his powers is abducted by three women, abused then thrown back into the world twelve days later, a broken man. A psychological mystery about a man's struggle to regain his lost self...."

Book of Revelations.


We thought it looked quite good.






Boy Oh BOY were we wrong.



I saw Tom Long's flaccid penis.

I saw him fucked up the ass by a faceless woman with a strap-on.

I saw more sex than I've seen in any movie that wasn't "officially" porn.

I saw him attack a woman in the bathrooms of a nightclub because she had red hair and nice nails.

I saw Greta Scaaci looking much older and sicker than she should.

I saw alot of "contemporary" dance.

I heard WAY too much silence.




Lets just say that the only two things this movie had going for it, in my opinion, were the song that was on while he was attacking the woman in the bathroom, and Colin Friels, who is looking quite dashing these days with his grey "do."

uninspired

Uninspired. That's what I am. N


othing is wonderful, nothing is terrible.


I don't have anything to complain about, but nor do I have anything to exclaim about.


It's just blah.


blah blah blah blah


So, dear readers, until I find some inspiration (i'm open to any form), posting may be somewhat haphazard.

Apologies in advance, and do know that I still love you all.


Yes. even you.


Love me.

sun sun sun sun

Ahhhh the nice weather is here.

The weather really makes a difference to my mood… when it’s sunny that is. I’m not necessarily LESS happy when it’s raining and overcast, in fact I quite enjoy that kind of weather. At this time of year though, I am more often cheerful for absolutely no reason.

Take Friday for instance… it was as if someone had given me happy drugs.

Saturday too.

And then there was Sunday. Who the fuck made it rain again?