Friday, February 24, 2006

summary execution by light sabre.

I just read this article by Jim Shembri from The Age newspaper. Now, it's actually about queu-jumping... an issue about which i feel very strongly. However, he raises an interesting concept: Summary Execution by Lightsabre.

That got me thinking.

If light sabres were to exist (and please, if you're a Star Wars fan, don't try and tell me they actually do), what dearthly actions would merit a summary execution at the hands of such an instrument? Surely, for such mundane and everyday crimes as rape, murder and theft, only a ordinary method of punishment should be used. Only creative crimes deserve a creative punishment, and summary execution by light sabre is, if nothing else, at least creative. So without further ado, here is my list of "creative" crimes.

  • Stealing your next door neighbour's dog and using it as bait to try and get your rhinocerous into the stable at bed-time. (please note, summary execution by lightsabre only to ensue should said dog be eaten by pet rhinocerous - losing a limb will merely mean the crime-committer loses his/her corresponding limb).
  • Driving said next door neighbour's car off a cliff because you didnt' believe him when he said it couldn't fly.
  • Making friends with a small child on a long flight, introducing it to your friend, and then promptly falling asleep, leaving your friend to deal with insistent small child who WILL NOT GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!!
  • Going on holiday and taking the ONLY toothpaste in the house, leaving those poor sods who are not on holiday, slaving away at work every day and scaring off customers with furry teeth.
  • Making fun of my dog.Don't do it. Consider yourself warned.

Hmm. i think my day's creativity is coming to an end here. More to come later, should i think of them.

Until tomorrow.

Or perhaps until Monday. I have some rather energetic festivities planned.

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