Yesterday at Chadstone, I was outside the movies with my brother and one of our friends, and we thought we'd go to a movie. We read this:
"A secret he would not share. An obsession he could not control. A mystery he dare not resolve. A dancer at the peak of his powers is abducted by three women, abused then thrown back into the world twelve days later, a broken man. A psychological mystery about a man's struggle to regain his lost self...."
Book of Revelations.
We thought it looked quite good.
Boy Oh BOY were we wrong.
I saw Tom Long's flaccid penis.
I saw him fucked up the ass by a faceless woman with a strap-on.
I saw more sex than I've seen in any movie that wasn't "officially" porn.
I saw him attack a woman in the bathrooms of a nightclub because she had red hair and nice nails.
I saw Greta Scaaci looking much older and sicker than she should.
I saw alot of "contemporary" dance.
I heard WAY too much silence.
Lets just say that the only two things this movie had going for it, in my opinion, were the song that was on while he was attacking the woman in the bathroom, and Colin Friels, who is looking quite dashing these days with his grey "do."
7 comments:
Did you not design your own contemporary dance numbers to entertain yourselves in the silences? It seems like the most logical thing to do.
my goodness me Adam. where were you when I needed you.
You are hereby recruited for the next time I see a crappy movie.
this movie sounds rad
i'd probably enjoy it if i was arty or emo, i'm not sure which - proving that i'm neither
Well you sold me. Wanna go watch it with me Kiki? And if it's shite we can attack each other with sharp objects.
Oh dear. I should have broadcast my warnings about this diabolically awful film more broadly. It's utterly shite. Macbeth's not much beter, by the way, just in case you were planning to see that one...
oh bugger. i was quite excited about seeing macbeth. how disappointing.
Was it not the most wank piece of wank you've ever seen? Apart from the fact that, in balance, his experience was still nowhere near as bad as a girl's would have been had she been gangraped for 12 days straight (given that so much of the abuse seemed to centre on them pleasuring him against his will, barring the one moment of anal rape), all that fucking dance did my head in. I hate dance movies. No, make that I hate dance movies that feature contemporary dance. Actually, I just hate contemporary dance. It's like bad abstract art in motion.
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