Sleeeeeeeeep

I am not someone who deals well with stress - emotional stress that is. Give me a stressful work situation and I am someone who makes things happen or fixes them quick-smart. Give me someone else's emotional stress and I am brilliant at listening to them and then talking them back to sanity. I am, however, not so good with my own emotions.

The first sign that makes me realise how much something is affecting me is my sleep... or lack thereof. The last few weeks I"ve been having some quite bizarre dreams - bizarre content, but mainly just bizarre in that I can remember them. I never, ever remember dreams. I've also been waking up alot in the middle of the night. Last night I woke up at 2.30 and actually couldn't go back to sleep. I watched tv, I read my book, I lay in bed, i swapped my pillows over. for TWO HOURS. This, for me, is highly unusual. I can sleep anywhere at any time and through absolutely anything.

There is just one thing that brings me un-stuck emotionally... and that is uncertainty. I can deal with things either way, I just can't deal with not knowing, with being in limbo, or with being unsure of exactly what is going to happen.

Am I control freak? Why yes, I do believe I am.
Do I obsess over things I don't know the answers to? Absolutely.
Does this stressing and constant going over of things help the situation? Of course not.

I just want to know goddammit. And i want a good night's sleep. Doesn't look like it's going to be tonight.