Early is as early does.

Well it’s Monday again. How on earth can last week AND the weekend ALL be over AGAIN????

No matter how, they are.

Have you ever been mildly embarrassed by your actions whilst absolutely exhausted and more than a little drunk? On Saturday night, after an absolutely enormous and quite stressful day, I was in aforementioned state, and having successfully negotiated my way down two flights of stairs from an upstairs bar to a downstairs bar, tripped down the final three. I landed on all fours on the ground, and as a consequence of this, have a rather sore and quite swollen right ankle.

Now, I am quite sure I was not horribly, awfully and revoltingly pissed enough to be stumbling down the stairs. Therefore my only conclusion can be that I in fact tripped over my own shoes. Clumsy, yes. Alcoholic, no. My reasoning for this is simply that I had the grace to be embarrassed by landing on the dirty floor in the middle of the bar, and that I could not simply laugh it off at the time as I would have were I pissed enough, although I am all too happy to laugh at myself now.

No, I didn’t laugh. I cracked the shits.

I sat at the downstairs bar grumbling to myself for a good 15 minutes whilst the boys were upstairs finishing off their lame and unsuccessful attempts at picking up.* I then hobbled out to a cab, and proceeded to drunk dial three of my friends all the way home, and in bed for half an hour. I remember some of what was said.

Really though, I’m not terribly ashamed of any of these things. What I am most put out about is that I was at home and in bed by midnight, when most decent nights are only just beginning. I think I must be getting old.


*I must admit, my dear brother did stay with me and listen to my moaning for at least 5 minutes before escaping back upstairs to gyrate to the lovely selection of 80s tunes on display.