ALLLLLL over the place.

Well as anybody who has seen me in real life in the last couple of weeks (and there are very few of you who have) will have noticed, I've been particularly uninspired. I'm going through a "my life is a mess/I don't know what's going on/I need to do some washing and go to bed earlier" kind of phase. Rest assured though people, it will pass. It always does.

In the meantime, I have been pressured into finding some way to entertain you. So without further ado, things that make me laugh (please note that these are not guaranteed to be funny, as I have a notoriously odd/stupid/vicious sense of humour):

1. People who order 6 cheeseburgers at mcdonalds and a DIET coke. Would want to ingest any more calories than absolutely necessary now, would we people?

2. People who thought that Pepsi Max had not less sugar, but MORE. The catchphrase "don't worry, there's no sugar" didn't clue you in people?

3. Being almost rude and somewhat nasty to people I don't like at work, but then totally switching to light and sunshine so that they're not quite sure if I was being serious or just hilariously funny.

4. Along the same lines... using the fact that someone hasn't done something I asked them to as an excuse to be short with them, when really it's just that I don't like them!

5. Having a conversation with someone and them thinking they know what's going on, but really you're talking about something totally different and they have NO idea.

6. corny joke emails. Seriously people, I love them. I laugh at anything. I got one the other day with Luke Skywalker saying, "May the 4th be with you." I received it, funnily enough, on May the 4th. It's BRILLIANT.

7. David Hasselhoff giving his kids permission to film him when he's drunk... Nobody wants to see that buddy. The guy knows he has enough of a problem that he needs filming when he's drunk, but he needs filming when he's drunk to convince himself that he has a problem? My poor addled brain can't keep up.

8. The fact that Paris Hilton is going to jail. I'm surprised it has taken this long. The woman thinks it's unfair? Photos of her have been plastered all over magazines for years. We have been subjected to her ridiculous fashion, her vapid and vacuous comments in a voice that sounds like fingernails down a blackboard. The woman is famous for BEING FAMOUS... She's an idiot with billions of dollars for doing nothing. I think THAT'S UNFAIR. I think it's hilarious that she thinks it's unfair that she is going to jail for driving without a licence FOR THE THIRD TIME after she had her licence suspended for drink driving. Seriously... grow a brain, and if you can't do that, at least hire someone with brains to tell you what to say.

Bits and pieces and things:

I went to a wedding on Saturday. I went on my own. I went on my own DESPITE the fact that I didn't think I knew anybody going other than the bride and groom. I bought a new dress (any excuse), I bought new shoes (no excuse needed!) and I arrived. I got through an entire wedding and reception where I knew about 3 people (and it was fabulous to see them, people I haven't seen for a very long time), and I DROVE MYSELF HOME. That's right people, I went to an event filled with happy-in-love people and I didn't drink. In fact, I have to say, it didn't even make me feel vomitous as happy-in-love people usually do.

See how pleased and happy for them I look. Please note that THIS IS GENUINE! Don't all fall off your chairs at once!

On Sunday night I went to this great concert that was part of the Melbourne International Jazz Festival. I heard Jens someoneorother and James Morrison who was just absolutely fantastically brilliant, as always. I so enjoyed this, and getting to spend time with my bro and my parentals. Please be advised though, if you're ever going to anything at the Palms at Crown, they don't serve food apart from chips... which given that usually it's at dinner time, seems a little odd... eat before you go, or be prepared to pay 12 bucks for a piece of cheese and a biscuit!

Actually... all in all I had a great weekend. It was tres busy, and there was lots of driving involved, but good fun all round.

I'm really looking forward to next weekend too... it's my sister's 30th birthday on Friday night, and my other sister and brother-in-law are going to be here from singapore FOR THE NIGHT, so I'm mega excited about seeing them too. OOh on that note, does anybody have any good ideas to get for a 30th birthday present for a woman who has ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING???? Seriously... i'm at a total loss.

Also, does anybody have any good ideas for a good way to ask for another nearly two weeks off work to go on another diving holiday, which will be only 4 months after I got back from my last two weeks off work, especially given that I've already arranged everything EXCEPT for the time off? heh heh oops.

I have this huge big enormous urge to go and buy pretty shoes. I think I may just have to do that sometime soon...