I want you to think back to your school days.
Please don't cry.
No really, pull yourself together please.
Ok.
Was there one person in particular that you hated? (in my case, there were hoards of them)
Was there one person that you adored? (in my case, there was one)
Was there one person that you didn't particularly dislike, but didn't particularly like, you were just constantly frustrated by their presence?
In my case, there was one particular girl I'm thinking of.
She was loud.
She was smart.
She was a little kooky.
She was good at sport.
She was good at music.
She liked to be the centre of attention.
Now those of you who know me well, might think that I was describing myself there.
I wasn't.
I was describing a girl, who, while we were at school together for 9 years, vaguely threatened my identity and personality, by having one just like it.
We have a mutual very, very good friend (in fact the only girl I went to school with that I'm still friends with), who is moving away. On Saturday at her going away party, I came face to face with this very similar identity threatener. We kissed and said hello, we were both relaxed and friendly. We talked for about half an hour. She is lovely. Genuinely bizarre and lovely. I didn't feel at all threatened, and we had a very balanced conversation, with both of us relating much of what has happened in the last 6 years.
I don't know if she felt threatened by or disliked me in the same way as I felt threatened by and disliked her at school. I have no idea. I do know that we were purposely never invited to the same event by this mutual friend (which, surprisingly, I only found out on Sunday). Not once in 6 years have we been at the same thing, apart from a single 21st. I find that quite astounding now that I think about it. We are still very similar people, but I think I finally proved to myself that I really have grown up since school. I am confident in myself, so much so that personalities that I would once have found threatening, are enjoyable, and I love that. I'd like to think that one day we could be real friends.
I wonder how many others of those horrendously stuck-up private school girls have changed, and how many are the same exact clones of their mothers that they were 5 or 10 or 15 years ago? Would I still dislike the same things about them now as I did then? For their sakes, I hope they've changed.
5 comments:
In my - tragic - case, the people I hated and adored were the same boy. Ah well, such is my tormented life. More importantly, why weren't you at trivia tonight, hmmm?
my experience was kinda like yours, richardwatts. only not romantic - more like the girls i adored the most were the ones i struggled not to be threatened by. as if by seeing how wonderful they were brought into sharper focus the things about myself i didn't like. i still have versions of this *sigh*.
on a cheerier, if slightly menacing, note - tammiodo, you MUST come next week! you may have the kiss of your choice [demure cheek, dirty disco pash, or butterfly]...
Richard and KP, I PROMISE to be at trivia next week. Rain, hail, shine, construction team in my head, shoes on the wrong feet, rings on my fingers or bells or my toes. I will be there (besides, I want my dirty disco pash!).
Oh, and lets not worry about school people, crushes or otherwise. I promise to adore you both.
Well of course you will adore us both, tammiodo - are we not both adorable?
*giggles and runs away trying not to guffaw*
*squeals with delight*
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