Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Brangelina Jitt

What is it with celebrity pregnancies lately?

Seriously. There's an epidemic. Those women should put those turkey basters away.

The world's most pitied child was born today. Imagine having this for a father. oh dear oh dear oh dear.

And I wonder what The Brangelina Jitt kid will be called? I wonder if they will dye it's skin Michael Jackson-style so that it will add a new shade to their "rainbow family." I mean, both the parents are already white, you can't have three members of a 5 person family having the SAME colour skin, can you? You don't look up at the sky when it's raining and see 3 different shades of yellow in the rainbow. That said, I guess you don't see much white in the rainbow either.

How about having a brother named Moses. Not so bad, I guess, if your name is Apple. Hopefully she's not a short kid, just imagine: "Hi, i'm Apple. I know i'm short, but please don't call me Appletini." Furthermore, just think what they'll say about her parents: "Hey Apple, were your parents bananas?"

I guess, at least the Cruise kid has a normal name - if you're HEBREW... Suria. At least it's not fruit...

Are these children too different from the rest of us to have names like the rest of us? What's wrong with James or Josh or Charlotte? The worst thing is, this bizarre naming of celebrity spawn has been going on for years and years. Many of the owners of the names to follow are now in their teens:

Heavenly Hirani Tiger Lilly Hutchence (my sister teaches her at school and says she is just lovely, but... somewhere inside there must be some level of bitterness and hatred for her parents for naming her that, and THEN leaving her to fend for herself!).
Rumer, Talulla and Scout (Bruce Willis and Demi Moore's kids)
Banjo (Rachel Griffiths' son - I think)
Lewis Lewis (Seriously Kate Langbroek, who gives their kid the same first AND last name?)
Peaches Honeyblossom Geldof (daughter of Bob...)
Jett Travolta (yes... his dad likes to fly)

My very favourite though, is Jason Lee's son Pilot Inspektor. His dad couldn't even spell it right.

Isn't it hard enough being the much-watched child of a celebrity without having that lumped on you as well?

1 comment:

debi said...

You are seriously cracking me up here! Glad to know there are others of like mind!